Thursday, November 25, 2010

In the news: terrorist monkeys, dignified sex, breasts extend lives, and...

Here are the links to the articles talked about in this video:

Monkeys and the war on terror:

Nick Cage:

Staring makes you live longer

Parking tickets with yoga

Per The New York Post the terrorist Taliban are training monkeys as terrorist to kill American soldiers. Are they running out of recruits? Do the monkeys then get 72 virgins? When the Taliban and a monkey approach an American solider how does the American distinguish who is the real monkey? Of course the CIA is being blamed and accused of doing the same during the Vietnam War. The procedure made its way to the Soviet Union. Upon the collapse of the Evil Empire, the commie trainers then took their trade to the Taliban.

The Guardian of the United Kingdom reported Oscar-winning actor Nicholas Cage reportedly said he will only eat animals who have dignified sex. Mr. Cage stated he believes fish are very dignified having sex. We ought to be grateful Mr. Cage is not a cannibal because he would be eating either Orthodox Jews who are reported to have sex with a sheet between the participants. Or the Amish who are also reported to have sex with a board between the participants. Of course in both situations there is a hole in the board and bed sheet.

A research paper published in the New England Journal of Medicine reported that men who look at women’s breasts prolong their lives. Just 10 minutes of staring is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout. We men now have an excuse to ogle.

The British newspaper “The Telegraph” reported a unique method the city of Cambridge, Massachusetts has employed to hand out parking tickets. An “artist in residence” with the Cambridge Traffic and Parking Department came up with the idea of having the image of a yoga position on the front the envelope the ticket is placed with instructions on the reverse for the yoga moves.

Typical of a city where Harvard University calls home. So not only is the motorist annoyed by getting a parking ticket, then to see the envelope is annoyed further with the waist in the money for those envelopes.

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